The Air I Breathe Read online

  I refuse to answer that question, and Alec digs his nails into my arm. Sager asks me another question when he doesn’t get an answer from me.

  “Was it my cock that you envisioned being shoved down your throat while you were on your knees?” The raspy sound of his voice that typically turns me on scares the crap out of me now. Alec is hearing everything, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

  When I don’t answer this time, Alec grabs the back of my hair and yanks until I answer. Sager.

  “Yes,” I choke out.

  I can feel the bruises starting to form on my arm, and I close my eyes as the warm tears fall down my cheeks.

  “I already warned you about one-word answers.” His voice is still a husky sound.

  That voice has brought me to my knees so many times over the last seven months, but right now, I know that it’s only digging my grave further and further with every word he says.

  “Yes, your face was the one I saw when I came.” My voice cracks and Alec closes his eyes.

  When he opens them again, I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. Before he can end the call, I tell Sager, “He knows.” Alec slaps me again, and I try to keep the tears from falling down my face.

  “I should have fucking listened when everyone told me to stay away from you. That you were just a money-grubbing slut,” he all but spits at me.

  I can feel his saliva land on my cheek, and I try to wipe it off, but he doesn’t let me. Instead, Alec grabs my hands and pushes me back on the bed. I try to fight against him, but he’s stronger than me.

  “You want to be treated like a slut; I’ll treat you like a fucking slut.”

  He slaps me again, and I try to reach for my phone. His hands slip to my neck, and I beg for him to let me go. When he doesn’t, I can feel myself start to go numb. Alec isn’t this person. I’m the one who made him do this.

  My vision gets hazy, and I think that I can hear someone yelling, but it’s way too far away. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. He wouldn’t be here or even in the neighborhood.

  Everything disappears, and I feel like I’m floating.

  Flashes of Sager and I stream through my mind, and I see every perfect stolen moment we’ve had. I should have just ended things with Alec. I fell out of love with him somewhere during this path I’m on, but I didn’t want to admit it.

  I didn’t want people to know that I liked – no loved, the dirty things that Sager did to my body. The way he made me feel was magical and everything else that I’d never be able to explain.

  I should have seen the end before it happened, but I honestly never thought that we would get caught. I was a fool, and now I only have the memories of what once was.

  Sager Stone was the best and worst thing for me wrapped up in a sexy package.

  One

  Cameo

  Seven Months Ago

  Heading into the supermarket, I grab a handbasket and make my way to the produce section to pick up the things I need for dinner tonight. Walking through the aisles aimlessly, I pick out the things I need, not paying too much attention to the people around me. For the last few weeks, I feel like I’ve been lost in my own head and I have no idea how to get back to normal.

  Grabbing for a bag of shredded cheese, my hand hits someone else’s, and I pull back like I’ve been shocked. When I look over at the person I just bumped hands with, I feel like I got the wind knocked out of me.

  He’s beautiful. He has model-like features that I can’t help but stare at. A hard jaw, high cheekbones, and a slightly crooked nose. His eyes are fixed on me, and I feel my face heat.

  “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking–”

  He stops me by putting his hand up. “No, it was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. Here, take it.”

  He hands me the bag of cheese, and I try to decline his offer, but he places it in my basket before I can say anything else.

  “I insist.” He grins at me.

  We both stand up, and the way his shirt stretches across his chest makes my mouth water.

  “Thank you,” I finally stutter out when I catch his grin widening. He knows I’m ogling him and I’m embarrassed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to stare.”

  “You can stare at me anytime you’d like, sweetheart.”

  There is a mischievous look in his eyes, and I can’t help but feel a little giddy. No, wait. I can’t think about the things that are running through my head right now. He isn’t Alec. He isn’t the man I’ve been with for the last five years. He isn’t the man I’m supposed to marry next spring.

  Instead of saying anything else, I turn and walk away. If I stay in his presence any longer, I’m not sure what I’m capable of doing next. Before I can get away from him, a hand on my elbow stops me. When I look up at the stranger, I can feel a spark between us. Something I’ve never felt with Alec before. Pulling out of his grip, I steady myself and look at his face.

  He holds his hands up in surrender, and I force myself to listen to whatever it is he has to say.

  “I’m sorry if I crossed a line with you. Not my intention.” He pulls something out of his pocket and hands it over to me. “Please take it. I’m sorry. Come take a class on me for free.”

  Reaching for the card he’s holding out to me, I can feel myself start to panic. If Alec sees a card from some man, he’s going to freak out. I don’t need him thinking that I’m involved with someone else.

  “No, it’s okay,” I stutter out.

  He reaches forward and grabs my hand anyway, placing the card in my palm, folding my fingers over the business card.

  Before I can say or do anything else, he gives me a slight wave goodbye and walks away. Looking at the card in my hand, I can’t help but smile a little. It’s for a gym, something that I’ve never thought about doing before.

  Sager Stone– Stone Gym – Owner Operator

  Looking at the address, I think about taking him up on his offer. What would one class hurt? Alec can’t get mad at me for going to a gym.

  Tucking the card into my bag, I make my way to the checkout line and wait for my turn. It doesn’t take long before I hear his voice again and when I turn my head toward his laughter, I notice that he’s right in front of me.

  “Ma’am, can I pay for her stuff as well?” he asks the cashier. I go to say no, but he holds his hand up. “Let me, please. I still feel bad about a few minutes ago.” He gives me sad puppy dog eyes, and I give in.

  “Okay fine. Only because I only have a few things, but you have to let me pay for my own classes if I go to your gym.”

  He grins widely and nods his head. “Deal.” He turns back to the cashier, and she starts to ring up the few things I had, and he pays for everything and hands me my bag. “So that means you’re going to stop by my gym?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know yet, maybe.”

  Without giving him anything else about whether or not I’ll actually be going to his gym, I say thank you and walk to my car quickly, refusing to look back at him. I don’t need to stare at him anymore than I already have.

  Almost the whole drive home is spent thinking about Sager Stone and what type of gym he might have. I’ve never even thought about going to a gym before, but I mean, I guess I could use it. I am no size four like I used to be and it might be good to get out of the house every once and a while.

  You can only go to the grocery store so many times in a week before everyone thinks you’re forgetful. Coming to the stop sign a few blocks from home, I decide on treating myself to an iced coffee, so I pull into the next shopping center and head for the Starbucks drive-thru.

  I typically never spend money on myself, since I don’t have a job. I used to be the type of girl that worked and made my own money, but after Alec and I got serious, he asked me to quit my job to be more of a housewife, but without the ring.

  He comes from money, and he doesn’t agree with the woman of the house working outside the home, so I agreed. I didn’t necessarily love my job, so it
wasn’t that hard to leave it. Looking back on that, it was one of the decisions I regretted.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to do whatever I want during the day, but it does get rather lonely while Alec is out of town on business.

  When he asked me to marry him, it was the most beautiful proposal ever, and I was so excited to become his wife, I still am.

  Just sometimes I think he only wants to marry me because he likes the idea of having a trophy wife, or at least those are the whispers around the country club we belong to.

  All the wives barely talk to me unless it’s for a function and even then, they are catty women who never really accept anyone new into their clique. It’s like the movie Mean Girls, but cougar edition.

  When I pull up to the speaker to place my order, I scan over the menu quickly before the voice comes on. “Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get started for you?”

  The woman’s voice on the other end is cheerful, and part of me envies her.

  “Hello, I would like a tall iced white mocha with no whip cream please,” I answer as I grab my wallet from my purse.

  “Will that be all for you today?”

  “Yes, please,” I answer as my phone beeps with a new text message.

  Grabbing it, I check the screen as the woman tells me my total and to pull to the window. Alec’s name is on the screen and part of me feels guilty for spending his money on this drink, but when his message says that he is going to be late and don’t worry about making him dinner, I don’t feel so bad.

  Over the last few days, he’s been coming home late or not even at all some nights. He claims that he’s working late on a project, but I don’t know. Maybe he’s telling the truth or maybe he’s lying.

  As I wait for the car in front of me to get their order and pay, I think about the last office Christmas party. I got to meet Alec’s new assistant and let me tell you, she was beautiful. Model beautiful actually.

  I could see her being the trophy wife more than me, but Alec never left my side the entire night. I don’t know if he didn’t think I could handle the party alone, or if he really only wanted to be with me. It was strange, but then again I didn’t question it. It wasn’t my place to. I was just his girlfriend, and that didn’t hold much clout at a party like that.

  Alec Manga was one of the most successful CEO’s that Martin House, a firm that I’m still not really sure what they do, has ever had. He said they bought and sold companies, but I never understood what that really meant. He tried to explain it once, but it made no sense at all.

  Shaking all crazy thoughts from my head, I pull up to the window and pay for my drink. When the woman hands it over to me, I thank her and set it in my cup holder before pulling away and heading home.

  Parking in the garage, I grab my bag and my coffee, making my way inside. I set the bag on the counter and start to pull the items from it, putting them away in their proper places. Once I get the bag emptied, I grab my coffee and make my way to the couch.

  Turning the TV on, I find a show worth watching and mindlessly sit in front of it until I fall asleep on the couch, not even hearing Alec when he finally comes home from work.

  The sound of glass crashing to the ground wakes me, and I jump off the couch and go in search of the noise. When I reach the kitchen, I see Alec leaning against the counter, one hand on the tile and his head bent toward the floor.

  Taking in the scene in front of me, I try to make sense of it, but I can’t. Maybe I’m just dense, but I don’t get what is wrong with him right now.

  “Are you okay?” My voice is hesitant and timid. I know it’s not my place to question him, but I want to make sure that everything is okay.

  “Yeah, just go to bed.” His words are harsher than I expected them to be, but I don’t let them scare me away. There is broken glass everywhere, and it’s my job to make sure that this place is always clean. Closing the distance between myself and the glass, I kneel down to pick up the bigger pieces and Alec doesn’t move.

  Once I get most of the glass off the floor, I set them in the trash and go to the pantry to grab my small dustpan and hand broom to sweep the rest of the glass up. When I come back to the broken glass, Alec grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him.

  “I love you.”

  The smell of vodka is strong on his breath, and when I stare into his eyes trying to figure out what he’s doing, he surprises me by grabbing the back of my neck, pulling my mouth to his.

  He kisses me like I’m his lifeline, but it feels forced, like he is trying to convey something to me that I don’t quite understand.

  “I love you too,” I whisper when he pulls away.

  Alec pulls my body into his and starts to walk me backward toward the living room. We stumble slightly from his drunkenness and when we finally make it to the bedroom; he picks me up and tosses me onto the bed.

  Rising up on my elbows, I watch him as he starts to undress. There’s a hunger in his eyes that I’ve never seen before and I don’t know what to expect. Sure we’ve had sex more than enough times to know what’s going to happen, but this seems, I don’t know, different.

  Two

  Sager

  Life has never gone right for me.

  If anything, it’s almost like I’m slowly drowning in my own misery. Everything I touch turns to shit, and I always want things that I can’t have.

  My gym is the only thing that I have done right in my life, and there isn’t a damn thing that I will ever do to ruin that. I get to have freedom from the nine to five, but I put far more hours into this place than that in a day. I don’t mind though because it’s mine and I don’t have a dickhead boss telling me what to do day in and day out.

  I make the rules and get to bend them as I please.

  I’ve spent many nights with my female clients in and out of the bed, and it is part of the reason I no longer do personal training. Like I said, life is just a disaster most of the time. I’ve done a lot of stupid things, but I don’t regret it.

  I had the time of my life in my twenties, and now that I’m thirty-two, I need to figure it all out. Need to grow up and stop acting like some spoiled kid that needs everyone else to bail him out.

  Looking out at the equipment in the corner of the building, I take quick inventory of the people using it before moving toward the front desk. When I get close enough to the desk, I see Mandy sitting there filing her nails while talking to someone. When I turn the corner, I see the blonde from the store the other day.

  “Oh good! Sager, you are here. This woman had your card and wanted to sign up.”

  I smile at Mandy and come to a stop next to her. When the blonde finally looks at me, I can see the blush cover her features.

  “I am. So you took me up on my offer.” I grin at the blonde, and she shakes her head no. I know she wanted to pay for her own classes after I paid for her groceries and that’s fine. I’ll still give her a credit for a few months or free classes; I just won’t tell her that.

  “I did not. I came to sign up for your gym. I don’t need the free month or whatever it was you offered. I can pay for myself.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her, and she looks back at Mandy like she might save her.

  “I got this, Mandy.”

  She nods her head and gets up from her chair, vacating the area and heading back toward the employee break room. I take a seat in her chair and stare at the blonde. She’s fucking beautiful. Even more so now with her hair piled high in some messy bun thing she’s got going on right now. Even in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she still looks amazing.

  Don’t get me wrong, the dressy outfit that she was wearing at the store was hot as hell too, but this is even better.

  “So what would you like to sign up for? Classes, the gym itself, or both?”

  Her eyes finally meet mine, and I can see the hesitation in them. She isn’t sure that she should even be here.

  “Your husband doesn’t want you joining a gym?”

  When she looks at me i
n surprise, I shrug. “The ring on your finger is a dead giveaway.”

  Her eyes move to the giant ass ring on her finger before coming back up. “Fiancé, but I don’t think he will mind. I …”

  She doesn’t finish her sentence, so I grab one of the contracts and set it up on the counter for her to read. “The pricing is on the paper. Read it over and sign it, then we can get you set up.”

  I stare at her, memorizing every inch of her that I can see from where I’m sitting as she reads over the paper. She bites her lip and her neck flushes as I continue to stare at her. Part of me knows that I’m getting to her, but I don’t care enough to stop.

  “Here.” She hands me the paper once she signs her name and I look down at the bottom for her name. Cameo Hartley. The name fits her. Prim and proper to a T.

  “Cameo Hartley,” I state as I start to type her name into the system, looking up at her. “Can I please see your ID.”

  She sets her purse on the counter, grabbing her wallet and pulling out her ID. When she hands it over to me, our hands touch again, and I feel that same jolt as the day in the store. Something about her is driving me insane; I just don’t know what it is.

  She’s practically married with that huge ass ring on her finger, and I know I should have just let Mandy do all this with her, but I couldn’t. I wanted to be the one she dealt with, the only one that gets to know her information, but more importantly her name. I needed to know her name.

  “So which plan did you want to do, Cameo?”

  Her teeth bite down on her lip again and what I wouldn’t do to be the one to do that to her.

  “Both.”

  Her voice is barely a whisper this time, and I feel it all the way to my dick. My cock stiffens in my sweats, and I know it’s going to be noticeable as hell when I stand up. At least when I saw her at the store the other day, I was wearing a pair of jeans that did well enough to cover my hard-on.

  “All right.”

  I finish inputting her information just as she hands me over a credit card. Entering the details of the card, I mark the first payments already completed so that it doesn’t charge her card until the third month. Handing back her ID and credit card, I stand up and grab the receipt from the printer. She takes it from my hand and shoves it into her bag quickly.